It was now late summer 2012 and we had planned a trip with two other couples. I know we were both silently hoping it was going to be our last vacation as a childless couple. But at this point we assumed it would be months before anything would happen, so once we arrived we put all of the preparation and planning aside to relax and enjoy some time with our friends.
That is why, it was beyond anything we could have imagined when a few days into our trip we got an email that a couple had chosen us. I can still hear Ryan calling my name and telling me the news. ANLC, along with this amazing couple, wanted to have a conference call right away! We were completely stunned and confused. Our webpage had not gone online yet. How did they know about us? How were we chosen? Was this really happening or had those Margaritas by the pool knocked me out and I was just dreaming on a lawn chair in the sun?
This part is what we like to call fate and serendipity; our birth parents had chosen a couple from the website a few months prior. The chosen couple had, after a short time, decided they no longer wanted to adopt. Our totally worried birth parents didn’t know what to do. They had already looked through all the profiles and didn’t feel a connection with anyone else. They called ANLC in a panic. ANLC informed them that they had a few other couples that had just finished their submissions and had not yet been given a webpage. Our birthparents, who very conveniently lived only forty-five minutes from us in LA, came in to meet with ANLC and look through these unpublished couples.
After looking at our photos; we were told that our birth mother, the moment she saw us, said “They are the ones.” I write this still in awe. For her to know with certainty that Ryan and I were “it” still moves me so much. To say we were nervous about the call would be an understatement. I kept thinking, what if we say the wrong thing? What if she doesn’t like the sound of my voice? What if we somehow blow it?! I remember saying to them “Thank You. Thank You so much. You have no idea the gift you are giving us!” I didn’t want to sound desperate but what this young couple was doing was admirable and brave and giving and I wanted to make sure they both knew how grateful we were. It all felt so surreal. When our emotional call was finished, all parties were in complete agreement. We were moving forward!
Having this awesome development unfold while on vacation was already such a wonderful feeling. But to have it happen with our amazing friends who had cried with us, supported us, and wished with us for this very moment made it magical. The emotions and celebrations among us all the rest of that trip were exceptional.
Once we were settled back home we were given more of the details regarding our baby that was due in January! Just a little over four months away! We had so much to do. Ryan started reading every book that even had the word baby on the cover. I of course started planning the nursery. He’s the researcher and I knew I would trust anything he felt strongly about. Ryan also had ZERO experience with babies so it was kind of adorable watching him read the “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” books. He was so focused and eager to educate himself as much as possible.
Since our birth parents lived so close to us we all decided it best to meet for lunch. I can tell you I have never been so anxious or excited than the morning of our meeting. We met at a spot of their choosing. We were fifteen minutes early. They were fifteen minutes late. I recall very clearly thinking they had changed their mind! Each minute past the hour I became more and more nervous. Then, there they were. This adorable, sweet, albeit a little shy couple. They seemed so young. I couldn’t help but look at our birth moms tummy. I thought, “Holy Crap, that’s our baby in there!” To anyone looking at us I’m sure we looked like two couples who were just having a Tuesday afternoon lunch. Man, was it beyond anything like that.
We got to know a little about each other, our families, our desires and hopes for the future. To add to the almost fateful way everything was working out; we were quite surprised when we found out that our birth mother’s parents lived in Phoenix. Ryan’s hometown. They would be moving from California to join her parents for the remainder of her pregnancy. Of all the cities in the US, our baby would be born in the same place as Ryan. The majority of Ryan’s family still lived in Phoenix. To share this amazing unprecedented time with our loved ones was going to be the cherry on top.
When our lunch was over we hugged, wished each other well and went our separate ways. It felt so solidifying. I believe we all left that day with a feeling of resolve. They seemed relieved we were what they wanted for their child and we were just relieved they still wanted us. Just 4 months to go!