We had to be in NYC over Labor Day for our friends’ wedding. We decided to stay into the week following. Ryan’s company had an office in midtown. We often were able to extend our visits while he worked which made me gloriously happy. NYC in September is lovely. To be in my favorite city with so much excitement swirling around was incredible.
An added bonus...we were to find out the sex of our baby that week. We didn’t care which way it went though we both had a feeling it was a girl. I will never forget the day the phone call came. I was expecting it much later in the afternoon as the time in California was 3 hours earlier than New York. Ryan was in the office and I was out having a “date with my city” day. I was walking down 43rd street nearing the restaurant that I worked at when Ryan and I met when my phone rang. I quickly walked into the bar area to avoid the outside street noise. “Hello?” As I stood nervous and excited our birth mom told me we were having a girl. The feeling that rushed over me was pure contentment. It felt so much more real now. We were having a daughter! But then next: “But there is something else, and I’m so sorry for the mix up. I hope it’s okay...the baby is due in November, not January.”
I almost fell over. I silently looked up at the bartender and just pointed to the beer on tap I wanted. I wasn’t sure how or why the due date was two months off but I didn’t care. We had been waiting for six years to have a baby and she had just shaved another two months off of that. It was so sweet that our birth mom felt bad about the baby coming earlier than we thought. She clearly didn’t understand how anxious, excited, and grateful we were! I knew we had a lot to get done in a matter of seven weeks but who cares?! My mom said I slept in a dresser drawer for the first few weeks. And besides, I had the most capable, competent, and well-read husband on the planet. All would be well! Calling Ryan to fill him in was such fun. First, that our baby was a girl and then, the bomb that the due date was two months off! Silence and shock on the other end of the phone.
Getting back to LA we worked fast. Our amazing and tireless friends who were already throwing us a couples’ shower were informed that it now needed to be moved up. Way up. They took it in stride. Two weeks before our daughter was to arrive they threw us the most beautiful shower we could have ever asked for. Friends and family came out from Florida, New York, and Arizona. It was one of our favorite days in life so far. It felt so magical. It was one of those things I had started to think would never happen to me. I wanted to relish every moment. It was almost like my wedding day.
A day later our family and friends had gone. Ryan and I planned to have a nice relaxing week of doing all the things we knew would not come so easily once we had a newborn. We planned to sleep in, go to the movies, hang with friends and also pack. We would need to stay in Phoenix for up to 2 weeks to finalize all the paperwork before we could return to California. Our plan was to head there one week before the baby was due in case she came early.
Really good plan, unless one day later at 7AM you get a call that your baby is on the way. After finding out our daughter was coming two months earlier than we had been told she decided to then come two weeks early. It was amazing!
To say we were freaking out is an understatement. But the entertaining part was watching Ryan. I’m the ‘freaker-outer’ in our family. Ryan is generally cool, collected, and in control at all times. Watching him run around in a t-shirt and boxers throwing random stuff into bags while stopping periodically to bend over and put his head in his hands and say “Oh my God, Oh my God” was a highlight I will never forget. We took two cars, our two dogs and headed out for the six-hour drive to Phoenix. We drove ninety miles an hour. We figured most police would cut us some slack. Our phones were ringing non-stop with well-wishers and people asking if we were there yet. It was like an entire community of people was cheering us on. It was such a beautiful display of the good in humanity. It was uplifting, reassuring, and just made the whole experience that much better.
When we walked into the hospital room it was like time stopped. Our birth parents were there. Their parents were there and so was our baby girl. I can assure you there are no words to describe the feelings that overcame us when they handed us our daughter. She was ours from the moment that happened. I had worried a little if I would feel a disconnect. I had not carried her. She did not share our DNA. But it was exactly as everyone told us. There was no difference. She was ours. We were a family. Just like that.
Now, three and a half years later, our amazing daughter is a joy and a light that is beyond any expectation we could have ever had for our child. I know in my heart that she was meant for us. I believe that had I been able to carry a baby myself it would still have been this child. Her soul was out there the whole time...just trying to find the right channel to arrive through. Every tear, every doubt, every doctor appointment, every needle, every painful miscarriage was all worth it because the end result was our glorious baby girl.
The song Ryan and I danced to at our wedding was Rascal Flatt’s “God Blessed the Broken Road that Led Me Straight to You.” It’s so fitting how that song applied to Ryan and I then and now to our daughter. God’s plan was exactly as it should have been. For anyone out there who is going through anything like what Ryan and I endured; I implore you to dig deep, grasp ahold of faith, pray hard, and just know that not only can you get through this time but the end result could be more than you ever hoped for.
Thank you so much for each one of you who took the time to read my first story. I hope you found something uplifting in it and I hope to see you back here again soon!
